Finding Space, Making Space | My Service Story
By Alex Taylor
It all started from a casual conversation on a warm summer evening soon after I graduated from college. I invited friends and family to celebrate with me and connect at this moment of transition in my life.
It was a joyful gathering of old friends, with the smoky scent of the grill floating around as we sang along to lyrics projected onto a big white sheet in the backyard. Through countless conversations that night, I shared my thoughts and goals with all the people who helped raise me.
One particular conversation inspired me. My aunt, a former VISTA member, suggested I explore the possibility of serving with AmeriCorps. She shared how she loved her experience serving, telling me how she felt empowered to help others. Empowering and enacting social justice has always been a central goal and guiding light along my path. In my family, community service is a natural part of living a good life: giving out free lunches at the spray park in the summer, serving on the Waltham Land Trust and Farmers’ Market Committees, volunteering at Grandma’s Pantry in Waltham, MA. When I was about eight years old, my best friend and I designed “The Be Green Club,” through which I imagined I could bring young people together to learn about environmental justice; it was the “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle” era in my childhood. For my 12th birthday party, I invited all my friends to a nonprofit organization, Cradles to Crayons, and we volunteered cleaning and sorting toys and clothes. Once when we held a yard sale, I insisted we give the proceeds to Grandma’s Pantry.
By the time I got to college, social justice issues were all I could think about. I could see that people were living without the security and comfort of a home, without the certainty of food on the table, without access to healthcare, without the sense of safety and belonging that every human needs. Everyone deserves nutritious food, comfortable clothes, a clean environment, and access to education and healthcare – all major ingredients for maintaining a safe space in which a person can exist and find joy. Coming out of college with my bachelor’s degree in “Gender, Sexuality, Feminist and Social Justice Studies,” I knew I wanted to be in a position to serve others, but otherwise had no idea where to go next. AmeriCorps made sense as an opportunity to be of service, gain real-world work experience, and hopefully find my spaces of inspiration.
I ended up submitting an application to several different AmeriCorps programs around the country. My soon-to-be Site Director, Gina Bermingham, reached out to me for an interview and within weeks I was serving in an after school program in Boston. I was slightly apprehensive about serving in a Catholic school, firstly because I am not Catholic. Secondly, I identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community and historically, there hasn’t been a welcoming space for me there. That concern essentially evaporated in my first meeting with the Principal, during which we openly discussed navigating gendered bathrooms and pronouns, letting me know that it would be a safe and supportive place for me.
On my first day serving with the kids, one of my pre-K students said to me, “You look like a boy!” More than once in my two years there, students asked me if I was a boy or a girl, and I would just answer, “Yes!” I realized that I might make a difference just by existing differently in the space. I might be a model of otherness for students searching for some. If just one student saw that they can be different and still belong in the space, then any moments of discomfort for me were more than worth it.
Going into my first year, I had no knowledge of classroom management, nor experience supervising a room full of preschoolers. I felt like I was drowning. I almost quit in November of that year. I had three different jobs to balance, including my part-time service year with NDMVA, and I was overwhelmed with all the new challenges. I had plenty of experience with young children, but not so many in one room. I would be cleaning up a milk-spill, turn around to see one child stepping on fallen goldfish and three others fighting over a babydoll, while another climbed up my leg. I served alongside different faculty members each day and witnessed many different styles of classroom management. Teachers of younger classes were typically more patient and flexible, while teachers of older students held more stringent expectations for appropriate behavior in the classroom.
In my time serving, I determined that I prefer to be more flexible in my communication with students of all ages, even when they test my patience. As a young student, I felt more trusting and comfortable asking questions of teachers who encouraged an atmosphere of high expectations and flexibility. Thus, my goal became building relationships with my students, prioritizing that atmospheric trust. I wanted my students to feel safe in the spaces I held for them. One day in the after school program, a first grader, Theo, asked for help with his reading homework. I sat down and, one problem at a time, found that he did know the answers, he just wasn’t writing them down. I pushed the homework page away from us, turned to him and said, “Hey kiddo, what’s on your mind?” He shared with me his anxiety over whether his father would be there to pick him up. I offered him reassurance, and a promise that I would be there until his father came. We chatted for a minute, and then he pulled the homework back to finish it. When another student, Max, would come to after school with a temper, we sat together to talk about what he was feeling and why. He tested my patience more than most of his classmates, but he became one of my strongest relationships by the end of my service, which taught me that extended patience builds trust.
Another first-year challenge emerged: my service site had not hosted an AmeriCorps member before I arrived. I realized halfway through the year that the teachers and staff didn’t know what my role and experience level actually were. I learned that I like to figure things out on my own and put on a strong show of confidence. It felt professional, but led to misunderstandings, with colleagues believing I was more knowledgeable and experienced than I was. I resolved this by actively seeking more support, and creating a Google slides presentation to offer the whole school community a brief background on NDMVA and why I was there.
These challenges and others conflicted with my desire to return and learn more in a second year. I was considering another service program in behavioral health care, and when Roe v. Wade was overturned by the United States’ Supreme Court, I questioned my ability to maintain neutrality, because discussing politics is not permitted on AmeriCorps time. I determined I could effectively separate NDMVA service and politics, acknowledging that, should I find myself acutely overwhelmed while serving, I could excuse myself and take personal space. Additionally, while I was interested in exploring service in a behavioral health environment, I wanted to reinforce the relationships I had built with students in my first year, and I felt I had plenty more to learn serving in the school for another year.
For year two, I chose a full-time schedule seeking more opportunities to learn from my students. I still served in the after school program, but in my second year I learned the most from my additional role supervising lunch and recess periods. The fourth and fifth grade challenged me every day. I monitored the two grades, fielding gameplay arguments: who trespassed in whose half, who fouled whom etc. I set myself a challenge to bring the fourth and fifth grades into a more cooperative space by the end of the year. I developed a pattern - whenever soccer balls crossed into the basketball court, I yelled, “Run it back to your side as quickly as you can! Go, go, go!” It became part of the fun, returning the ball as fast as they could. By the end of the year, they were cheering for each other to get it back inside bounds. I reminded the fourth graders to cooperate with the younger class when the next year came around.
My greatest takeaway from two years with NDMVA is a stronger sense of where I want to go from here. During my first year of service, the kindergarten teacher shared with me about the former school guidance counselor who, when a child was struggling and hiding under a table, would sit under the table and talk with them. Hearing that story was a lightbulb moment for me; I realized that is already who I am and who I strive to be every day: someone who meets a child where they are and offers support from that place.
The most important part of my service experience were all the relationships I formed within my school and NDMVA communities. I got to know people I probably never would have met who also chose to do a year of service. We developed a strong bond, learning about each of our different reasons for serving. My school community became a family and my students meant the world to me, so when they asked me to stay after my service ended, it was very hard to say no. Faculty, parents, and students all asked me not to leave. But my students in particular are the reason I need to take my next step from here. The moments and conversations I have witnessed and shared with these young people over the last two years have shown me that I want to be with them, to hear them, see them, and offer them a safe place unconditionally. I now plan to become a behavioral health counselor for young people.
Serving with NDMVA offered me much experience and many eye-opening opportunities to learn, not just about the role I was in, but about myself and my personal goals as well. AmeriCorps service has been an essential stepping stone for me and I don’t know that I would have found my way to my current position had I not first chosen AmeriCorps. My advice to everyone: If you don’t know what you want to do, if you’re not sure what lights the fire inside of you, try something new. You will find signs and directions. Take up space and notice what draws you in. Follow those spaces which inspire you to carve out more.
